I am honored to introduce my friend Nicole Ray to you. I love her passion for helping women become “shatter proof” in Jesus. Today, I have asked her to share one specific aspect of her testimony with you. This issue is near and dear to my heart, and I know that Nicole will encourage and offer hope to those of you who have or are struggling with your weight, body image, or an eating disorder.
So here is Nicole…
In my teens and early twenties I fought bulimia and binge eating, it was confusing for me. I had a sporadic history of both problems instead of a continuous long-running battle. I could be fine for a year and a half and then be crippled for eight months wherever food was concerned. Eventually I came to realize that my eating disorder was really just a symptom. There was a deeper, underlying cause.
When stressful life situations or tragedies would pop up, my coping mechanism was often food. I was four years old when I lost my mom to leukemia, and looking back I see that I was (understandably) too young to cope with the loss of my mother. As I grew older food was my default self-soothe method whenever I was emotionally overwhelmed with no sense of what to do to make anything right. I had been doing it so long it had become nearly involuntary.
At age 19 I became a Christian. I’d love to tell you that everything got so much better right away once I had Jesus, but it just doesn’t work that way. Don’t get me wrong, life overall was better but life is still life, and there would still be battles. The difference was now I had a relationship with God, He was with me through each crisis.
Over time I could clearly see my behavior patterns and I chose to seek God instead of food in the times I was overwhelmed by life. One of the Bible verses that helped keep me persistent in this was Psalm 9:9-10, “The Lord also will be a refuge for the oppressed, a refuge in times of trouble. And those who know Your name will put their trust in You; for You, Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You.” And Psalm 91, one of my favorites, was a constant go-to during hard times.
As I readjusted my default self-soothing behaviors, as I sought God and not food during crisis, I put more and more distance between myself and my eating disorder behaviors. I became better at moving forward through life’s challenges, even if I was afraid. I came to a place of strong trust that the Lord would protect me, He would do what He says He would do, and I need not fear.
In my case the issue was never the eating disorder, it was an inability to see past my problems. I surrendered to God’s plan for my life in every way (not just food) and somehow in that surrender my spiritual “legs” grew stronger. Now I am strong enough that I can gain traction to move through difficult circumstances, instead of being paralyzed and stuck in the mess.
Have you ever felt paralayed by a problem? As Nicole said above, did your “spiritual legs” eventually grow stronger? If so, how did you overcome? Was there anything or anyone that helped you overcome? We would love to know your thoughts!
About the Author:
Nicole Ray is a speaker, writer and actor. After making it through the near destruction of her brand new marriage she founded Shatterproof Ministries to share her marriage story and encourage others that God will keep His people from shattering, even in life’s most excruciating circumstances. She is actively involved in Young Adult & Women’s Ministries at her home church and recently started training for her first 5K. Nicole and her husband, Michael, live in Wisconsin with their cat, Pasha.
Contact info:
Website & blog www.shatterproofministries.com
Twitter- @Be_Shatterproof
Facebook www.facebook.com/shatterproofministries
E-mail nicole@shatterproofministries.com
Note from Tracy:
If you are struggling with an eating disorder, or with your self image, consider walking through the Scriptures with me. I recently published a Bible Study, Images of His Beauty, to encourage you. Information about the study and recommeded resources for those who struggle with eating disorder behaviors can be found at: www.onedegreeministries.com/iohb
