I initially ran the following post on May 10, 2012. I want to repost it today, for there is an update that I need to share at the end of it. Words cannot express how much your prayers, support, and love mean to me. Thank you! Rejoicing through tears…
My Mother is a Miracle
I keep trying to cry today, but I can’t.
All I feel in my heart is peace.
I am able to cook dinner and to play with my babies. I am able to give counsel to my husband and to make it to Bible study. All of these are evidences of God’s strength within me as part of my world crumbles.
- My mom, daughter, and me (Christmas 2011)
My lips keep singing His praise, for this is all I know to do.
This is all I want to do.
I submerge myself in Scripture, allow worship music to fill my ears, and I wait for Jesus to speak…
I will not worship her cancer and the “whys” surrounding it.
I will worship I AM.
As Mother’s Day approaches
I want to introduce you to a miracle. Her name is “Foxy” Roxie and she is my mother.
- When we first met, October 2, 1975. Gotta love the 70s!
My mother was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2001. After being in remission for 5 ½ years, the cancer returned. It continued to spread into some of her organs, bones, and then into her brain. The doctors believed she wouldn’t make it to my wedding.
She did.
Then God blessed me with her presence as I gave birth to Jackson in December 2008.
- My dad, me with Jack, and my mom
And, as I gave birth to Katie in November 2010.
- My dad, mom, me with Katie, & Chad.
God allowed her to read the Bible study I recently published and to see the formation of One Degree Ministries. As I continue to share with her the things that God is teaching me, she reminds me of how proud of me she is, and that her dreams for my life have been surpassed.
How good is our God?
On Tuesday (May 8th 2012), her oncologist told us the news we knew we would eventually hear. The cancer has now spread throughout her entire body. Human treatment options are running out. There are limitations to what science and medications can do.
There are NO limitations to what our God can do.
“Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And all that is within me,
Bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
And forget not all his benefits,
Who forgives all your iniquity,
Who heals all your diseases…”
~Psalm 103:1-3, ESV
So, as this particular Mother’s Day approaches I celebrate the miracle that my mother is. I celebrate the amount of time we have had together, and the amount that still remains. I am celebrating the fact that God will completely heal my mother the instant she sees Him face to face. She will never lose this battle.
She is close to winning.
And now…one HUGE reason to celebrate:
I Skyped with my mother and sister on Mother’s Day. What a precious gift!
On Monday October 8th, 2012 (exactly 5 months after we received the news I mentioned above), my mother, Roxie Davis, entered Heaven.
My mother won her race!
Hours before, I stood beside her bed and sang “Amazing Grace” and “Jesus Loves Roxie.” I knew she heard me, for her expression calmed at the sound of my voice. What a beautiful moment that I shall cherish forever. If only my eyes could have seen what was going on in the spiritual realm of that room! My heart was at peace as I realized that her eyes would soon behold God’s glory in its most fullest sense.
At around 1:15 pm, my dear friend called and I stepped out into the hallway to talk with her. I returned 11 minutes and 14 seconds later. Roxie passed quietly and peacefully during those 11 minutes, with her faithful and loving husband of 40 years right by her side.
I will continue to worship I AM as the years without her on this earth pass…
Mom, I will miss you-but there are no goodbyes for those of us who are in Christ Jesus! You are in the presence of the One I pray to, write about, and worship. It is because of Him, that I mourn today with hope and joy. You finished your race “for a cure” in the arms of THE CURE. I will be seeing you later… I love you.
Thank you for walking with me friends.
Looking to Jesus ALWAYS,
Roxie’s Sweetpea 🙂
“…let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.”
~Hebrews 12:1b-2 ESV
Oh sweet Tracy! I never got to meet your Mama in person– but I can tell she was incredible based on the awesome, Christ-follow daughter of hers.
So glad she won her race– I can only imagine the victory dance she is doing with Jesus right now!!!
LOVE YOU!!!!
Love you too Sharita. Roxie has definitely shown me what perseverance, faith, and hope look like. You better believe she is dancing-breast cancer take that 🙂 Amen?
Blessings to you, and I hope you and the baby are doing well!
The pictures tell the story so sweetly. Your words are incredible.
Oh Tracy what a beautiful tribute to your mom. She is looking down on you smiling 🙂
Thank you Veronica. Praising Jehova Rapha for healing her, and for giving her a smile that I know is plastered on her face! God bless 🙂
Tracy, I know how proud your mother was of the beautiful Christian woman that you have become. Your many accomplishments in ministry, as well as life, were such a blessing to your Mom and continue to be so for your Dad and the rest of us! Don and I are traveling so we will not be able to see you at the Celebration of Life. Just know we are there in spirit and covering you all in prayer! Love,Nancy
Thank you Nancy-your comment encourages me today. We will miss you Saturday, and yes we know you are with us in prayer and in Spirit. God bless and thanks for being a special part of my parents’ lives.
I told you those last moments would be special. It sounds amazing…and you WILL cherish it forever! Oh, the angels that surrounded you at that moment. I can actually envision it. I love you, dear friend. And if you ever need anything, or want to talk, I’m here for you.
Thank you Tristine, love ya as well. God bless 🙂
What beautiful words from a beautiful woman! It’s no wonder your mama was so proud! Thank you for sharing and mourning with such grace!
Love you! Hugs!!!
Melisa
Thank you Melisa for your comment and especially for those HUGS! I am praying for you as you are about to welcome your daughter into this world. I know that you will model for her, the kind of faith and love for God & people that Roxie modeled for me. Love you friend 🙂
Tracy,
It was good to read this post again as it brought just a little more comfort to me this time reading it- just the reminder I needed today. 🙂 I love the part you said, “I will not worship her cancer and the “whys” surrounding it.” That’s a hard one sometimes when you are really stuck in the rut of missing the person a ton. What a beautiful tribute to a beautiful woman. It also speaks greatly of her precious family that she had supporting her, and above all else- her sovereign God walking with her the whole way. Love you lots, thanks for the encouraging word.
April-thank you for the honesty of your comment. I know that there are rough days yet to come for me and my heart. The Holidays this year will be rough… Everyday I am going to need Jesus’ help to keep focus on Him! Cancer has taken so much from our family-I don’t want it to rob any more energy or joy going forward! Like I said, I am going to need Jesus, and I know He has been/will be my Help. Praise Him. I am praying for you today too April. God bless.
What a beautiful piece for your mother, Tracy. I’m so very sorry for your loss, but I am very thankful you have peace and a godly perspective. Thank you for sharing.
I just love the skype photo ~ I guess you are able to do it anytime now- “wi-fi free”. I know your mother must be proud of your unwavering praises to the Great I AM. Hugs
Tracy, so lovely. So touching. Your faith is strong and shines brightly, even through tears. Thank you for sharing your mom with us!
It is my honor to share “Foxy Roxie” with you Janice. I know you will get to meet her in person one day :). Thank you for reading and for your comment. God bless!
Oh Tracy,
This is so beautiful and I feel deeply as I read this. My mom and I are close as I can tell you and your mom were as well. I can’t imagine the empty place you feel with her gone, even in the midst of peace.
I will be praying for you as you walk these days ahead. May you be enveloped in God’s amazing love.
Thank you for sharing this journey with all of us. You are so special, and I am glad we got to briefly meet in person.
God bless you!
Denise-you are correct about my new “empty place.” I am asking Jesus to do with it what He will. I thank you for your prayers my friend-I assure you that God is enveloping me like crazy! His love is amazing!!! I am glad we got to meet too. I pray that you and your family are doing well. God bless.
Tracy
What a wonderful display for your relationship with your mom. I am so blessed to have known her and your entire family.
Love you!
Jen
Jen-so wonderful to hear from you. I actually came accross a picture of Roxie, you, Red, Miranda, and me in our college apartment. I think we were on our way out to AggieVille. Such wonderful memories. Love you too and thanks for your kind words 🙂
What a wonderful, loving tribute to Roxie. She and Wayne raised a beautiful Christian family and I know your mother is sending you hugs and kisses and watching over all of you. Thank you so much for sharing with us.
Thank you Beverly for reading and for your comment. Believe me, my parents will tell you I was a toughie to raise. 🙂 I am so thankful that God finally brought me to my knees. My mom then modeled and taught me volumes about the Awesome God I love and serve. She was something! God bless you.
Yes! Your mom has won the race! This is beautiful, Tracy. Love you and love your heart.
Eileen-thank you for walking with me. I know you understand all the mix of emotions… I appreciate how you have modeled courage and strength for me. I bet you our moms have already hugged, amen? So thankful for you- love you too! 🙂
Glory to God Jenet, for our story! Praying this brings comfort to all who read it. We all experience loss and grief in different ways, so I thank you for allowing me to share mine with you today. God bless!
Thank you Nicole. My mother has taught me alot about suffering, pain, perseverance, faith, and hope in God and in His Word. She barely had to use words to do so…
Praising God today for her life and legacy-to Him be the Glory! God bless 🙂
Skype rocks! We actually video taped the conversation as well, so I can always remember what we talked about and laughed about that day. Thank you for those hugs today too. God bless 🙂
Tears of joy!!! Jesus is Lord. May we win our own race by God’s grace.
Thank you Joseph for celebrating with us today! Jesus is Lord indeed. God bless 🙂
What a beautiful post and tribute to your mom. So sorry for your loss Tracy. My prayers are with you and your family. What a blessing that you will see her again some day.
Hi Suzanne: Thank you for reading and for your comment. We appreciate your prayers. It still seems a little surreal that she is gone. Tomorrow is her Celebration of Life service, so today has been a tough one. So again, I cannot thank you enough for your prayers Suzanne! God bless.
I wept tears of heartache and joy as I read this. What a gift your mom was to the world and to you and what a gift you had in a relationship with her! You know I understand the pain and the destruction of cancer, but it is so wonderful that Christ is always victorious… Always. I love you friend, and I am praying for the gaping hole in your heart. May Christ be ever present and may the body of Christ surround you.
Kelli-I think of you and your family often. May God’s comfort be felt as you walk this. Yes, I really do not like cancer. Ok, I hate it. It is awful. But yes, in Christ we will always have victory. He ensures that the pain WILL end. Death has indeed lost its sting- praise Him! I appreciate your prayers and for walking with me. I am so grateful for the blessings God has given our family, and I pray that I can be a listening ear and comfort to others who have lost a loved one. Love you sister 🙂
Kelly girl, sending love from Maine to you. This line resonated with me so, “You are in the presence of the One I pray to, write about, and worship.” Thank you for sharing your grace with us. ~ Love, Amy
Dear Tracy,
I was one of the very lucky ones that got to meet your Mom. I was also very fortunate to be at her celebration of life service. I walked away like so many with red puffy eyes but I was puzzled because I wasn’t sad. I discovered that the tears were from witnessing such a beautiful life jam packed with love for her King. I met Roxie about two years after I became a believer. I was blessed to be in a Bible study with her and I felt so drawn to her and her gentle way of making sense for me the Words of God. From time to time, I would be able to see her and never let the opportunity to gleam some spiritual wisdom from that gentle woman. Roxie never let the moment pass that she wasn’t reassuring me, that God would always put people in my path to guide me. Last Friday, I saw the posting about the brownies and I didn’t get it. I googled “Roxie’s Famous Brownies” and what do you know . . . your website came up. I spent over an hour here. I felt as though your mom was saying,”Here you go”. Tracy, I have earmarked your list of web sites and I will use them just as I hungered for your mom’s wisdom. Thank you for sharing her and I look forward to remembering her each time I pull your site up. She raised some amazing daughters and she was truly God’s hands and feet. Take care. Janet
Yes Amy-now that Roxie is *temporarily* gone, the thought you mentioned in your comment helped me through the tears. I know that I will see her again-and I will get to see my Jesus face to face…what else can I say??? I know I have a tough road ahead with her birthday and Holidays coming, but I will pray what I prayed this morning: “Lord, just help me through TODAY.” I have a feeling I will be praying that ALOT in the months to come, as I adjust :). Love you too sister and thanks for all your prayers!
Dearest Janet: Your beautiful comments bless me and are sure causing a lot of happy tears to flow, right now! You walked away from the service Saturday the way Roxie wanted you to. Her cancer has been defeated by our Awesome God. Thank you so much for coming and for sharing about my mother with me. I love how your google search brought you here-that is our God :). I pray that each time you join me here, you are drawn closer to God and are encouraged as you continue to seek Him. God bless you, Tracy
Isaiah 41:10 :):):)