Half-time is upon me.
It seems I spent the majority of my twenties and thirties running up and down the “court” of life. Figuratively speaking, I made some killer 3 point shots. But I’ve also thrown some “Hail Marys” and shots that bounced violently off the rim and into my opponent’s arms.
Some of my figurative shots continue to circle slowly along the outer rim of the net. I have yet to see whether the balls will go into or out of the net.
I only know that I am thankful I took those shots.
“I have won and I have lost,
I got it right sometimes and sometimes I did not.
Life’s been a journey, I’ve seen joy, I’ve seen regret,
Oh and You have been my God through all of it.”
– Lyrics from “Through All of It” by Colton Dixon
Tomorrow I turn 40 years old.
According to life expectancy statistics, I have made it to half-time.
How I am handling this milestone? I am honestly relieved and surprisingly giddy about turning 40. Some believe that being/looking young and the “first half” is where “it” is at; life after 40 is less than.
I respectfully disagree.
Sure, youth afforded me the ability to actually remember things. My hair was all the same color. When I was younger, I eagerly stayed up past 10:00 p.m. Being single and childless allowed me to travel the world, look nice in low rise jeans, and go by myself to the bathroom.
Truth is: God blessed me during my “first half” and I am grateful. But my “first half” was not always easy or exciting. At times it was confusing. Messy. Heart-breaking. Did I mention there was a lot of running?
My “first half” also had the added pressure of figuring out who I was and how I was going to put points on the board.
That being said, I do not believe life after 40 will be easier either, for I just hurt my ankle simply by walking across the living room floor. #truestory
But this I do know– God has brought me to 40 so that He can bring me through what is to come with the faith He grew inside me during my first 40 years. #takingthistothebank #canyouputhashtagsinblogposts?
image courtesy of Just2shutter/freedigitalphotos.net
So as half-time nears, I’ve noticed a shift in my heart and in my spirit. A sobering if you will. My mother received her breast cancer diagnosis when she was fifty-one years old. For me, fifty-one is only eleven years away.
I hear the tick of my own clock a little bit louder now.
Each tick reveals that I am tired of running and tired of the self-inflicted pressure to score points with people around me. I’ve heard the cheers and jeers of those calling my name. I’ve come to learn that noise is not all it is cracked up to be. Neither are points- they can be taken away as quickly as they are earned.
image courtesy of Arvind Balaraman/freedigitalphotos.net
I don’t know what season you are in as you read this. 40 could be years away or it could be years ago. Perhaps 40 is just around the corner and you are starting to freak out because you are listening to the world’s lie that the end of your awesomeness is near.
Do not buy into it.
You are a child of the Holy and perfect God. He watches your every dribble, shot, and foul. Listen to His voice above the noise and take the shot when He tells you to. Stop looking at the scoreboard- other people and points do not define you, God does. Become giddy about half-time and embrace your own “second half.”
Here’s to the #first40 and Lord willing, the #second40.
And here’s to my God who has been with me through all of the 3 pointers and “Hail Marys.” 🙂
“Whom have I in Heaven but you?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”
-Psalm 73:25-26, ESV
