I am the proud mama of a little boy that loves to jump off of the objects around him. He recently jumped off of the slide at recess and scraped his elbow. Has this stopped him from continuing his jumping pursuits? Nope. Bless him.
About a week after the slide incident, we sat down at the kitchen table to work on his handwriting assignment. At one point, my son adjusted the position of his arm so he could write his letters better. He immediately yelled, “OUCH! It hurts mommy!” My little guy managed to rub his wounded elbow across the rough, wooden edge of the table; ripping his scab wide open. Bright, red blood appeared again. So did my son’s tears.
Just when I thought his elbow had healed, the scab over it was ripped wide open.
Thankfully, another scab is starting to grow back. Though my son may have a little scar on his elbow from this incident, he will move on from his temporary pain. He will continue to jump.
Two years ago today, I stood by my mother’s bedside as she entered Heaven; overcoming her 11-year journey with breast cancer. I know many of you have read this blog from its’ inception making you familiar with her story. My mother is truly a miracle.
Many of you continue to check in with me and ask how I am handling her passing. I sincerely thank you for this. God has used you to minister to me. (Mega hugs)
So how am I doing two years later? Well… on most days I am my bubbly self and find myself at peace with it. But there are other days when the “scab” of Biblical Truths, your prayers, and time itself, seems to rip off- leaving the portion of my heart that is grieving exposed.
In fact, a couple nights ago my “scab” was ripped wide open once again.
My husband took me out to dinner for my birthday over the weekend. Our waiter took us on a tour of the restaurant and it’s new expansion before we left. We entered the newly remodeled bar area and encountered a man who may have been there for a while.
He was very jovial and in hindsight, probably meant what he said as a joke. However, this man proceeded to ask my husband if he was wearing a black tie. My husband gave him a puzzled look and answered “yes.” To which this stranger replied, “don’t you know that it is breast cancer awareness month? You should be wearing a pink tie to support it.”
I realize this man did not know our story. He is not my enemy. (Ephesians ch. 6) Still, his words remain implanted in my mind:
Don’t you know that it is breast cancer awareness month?
All of a sudden a rough, wooden edge of the table can rip our “scab” wide open. Revealing that what we thought is healed, isn’t yet…
Truth is, I will remember breast cancer every single day for the rest of my life. I purchased pink merchandise in the past. I mailed checks to Susan G Komen while my mother was alive. I hung onto pink ribbons with hope.
I am truly grateful for developments in cancer research that increased the quality of care my mother received. I am appreciative of all the amazing doctors and nurses that cared for my mother.
But two years have passed. Life is different now.
I experience peace because the focus of my hope has shifted. My mother won and finished her race in the arms of THE cure. She is home and healed. My hope solely lies in Jesus and in the fact He died on the cross and rose again. His tomb is empty. I will see my momma again because both of us love and know Jesus as Savior and Lord. (John 3:16, John 14:6, Romans 10:9)
The hope of Jesus Christ is not limited to a specific color of ribbon. His hope is available to all; overflowing into the hearts of those who believe every single month of the year.
I think I can already feel my “scab” growing back…
Please know that I do not believe wearing pink or participating in a 3 day walk is in anyway pointless or evil. All of us simply chose to honor, support, and celebrate breast cancer patients and survivors in different ways. Maybe I will wear pink ribbons next year. Maybe my husband will splurge and let me purchase an amazing pink Kitchen Aid mixer.
(Probably not, but a girl can dream about a fabulous pink mixer)
Though a scar of loss will remain in my heart, I will go on just like my brave little boy is doing. There are many “slides” before us, beckoning us to jump off of them.
And jump we shall.
“… fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” ~Isaiah 41:10 ESV/ Roxie’s life verse 🙂
Want to join in our celebration of Roxie?
My sister and I would love for you to join us! Simply find a picture of a smiley face (because Roxie loved them and put smiley faces on well… everything) and post it to FB or Twitter with the hashtag: #celebratingfoxyroxie. If you knew my mother personally, feel free to also share a favorite memory or picture of her along with the same hashtag so we can be sure to see it. Thank you again for all of the prayers, love, and support. God bless.